HOO ARE YOU???

1. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?When I have liver problems and when I had my 2 csections2. What would you name your next child or if you don't have any your first child?I think 2 is enough for me to handle so I haven't thought about it (until now)!3. If you could add one feature to your car, what would you choose?I need new tires something serious!!4. If you named your house (or car or computer) what would you name it? Comfy Cozy House5. What is your dream occupation? Open a non profit for Victims of Violent Crimes

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY - I have also made a page for Poems at the top where this will be posted too

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY

AND MEMORIES A LANE.

I WOULD WALK RIGHT UP TO HEAVEN

AND BRING YOU BACK AGAIN.

NO FAREWELL WORDS WERE SPOKEN.

NO TIME TO SAY 'GOODBYE'.

YOU WERE GONE BEFORE I KNEW IT,

AND ONLY GOD KNOW'S WHY.

MY HEART STILL ACHES WITH SADNESS,

AND SECRET TEARS STILL FLOW.

WHAT IT MEANT TO LOVE YOU-

NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW.

BUT NOW I KNOW YOU WANT ME

TO MOURN FOR YOU NO MORE.

TO REMEMBER ALL THE HAPPY TIMES.

LIFE STILL HAS MUCH IN STORE.

SINCE YOU'LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

I PLEDGE TO YOU TODAY-

A HOLLOWED PLACE WITHIN MY HEART

IS WHERE YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY.

Falling into Fall, Literally

I was all excited to go see my parents at the lake this past weekend, we haven't been out there in forever, actually since July 4th. And I was so ready to relax. Of course, the yucky bug hit our house first with Ava, then me, Zoe and now my husband has it. But we were able to enjoy most of the weekend, all while feeling under the weather for me though. Thankfully, I was at my mom's and she got up with the girls so I could sleep in !! I will forever be grateful to her for all she does for me. Luckily we did get some fun in; Ava, Grandma, and I colored and made a "Fall for Jesus" that we got off of http://www.kidssundayschool.com/, collected leaves, played in the leaves, laid in the hammock (I could fall asleep there anyday, right beside my brother's memorial garden), and we got to go see Will, my youngest brother, play football on Saturday night.

I had started a painting project on Friday afternoon before we left of trying to redo Ava's letters that hang on her wall, they had been taken down and put away for a while. So I got them out, painted them solid white and left them there to dry.

When we got home Sunday I was able to paint them pink and start sanding the edges. I printed out an owl template for our pumpkin from http://www.scissorcraft.com/ and cleaned out the pumpkin, and my husband started carving! We have always painted our pumpkins ever since we had Ava but I just felt in the mood to carve one this year, (actually, my husband does the carving, I give the instructions and clean up).

I also had a very unexpected and nice visit from a dear friend of mine Misty, Sunday evening. I was so happy to see her, it had been about a year since I last saw her and she was near my house (which most people are not since it is a little way out there, further south than most go!). I got to chat and catch up with her for a while and that really made my night. I was starting to feel really bad by the night's end and was hoping I would feel much better by morning. I had been taking over the counter cough meds and did my netipot before going to bed.

But by morning, I was much worse. I had to call in sick to work (which I absolutely HATE doing). We did however, get some things accomplished during all of this. My husband finished sanding the letters I had been working on and I hung them up. Rob, Ava, and I painted our small pumpkins. I edited some pictures and then called it a night.

Here are some pictures of crafts and fun stuff from the weekend:

The "Fall For Jesus" Tree

And Ava's "Twin Butterfly's"

And Ava and Grandmas

Pumpkin picture!

The OWL pumpkin, GREAT job Honey!!!

You are the BEST!!



 Ava's painted pumpkin, the yearly "ghost" pumpkin, Zoe's pumpkin, our yearly "spider" pumpkin, and the pumpkin Ava colored with marker at school!

Continuation from yesterday...

Today has been an emotional day for me. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride. I had a bad morning at work and ran into some obstacles I was not prepared for. It got my emotions stirring and next thing you know I am trying desperately to hold back the tears. Those of you who have grieved know it is an almost impossible thing to do and can come from out of nowhere. I was pleading with myself to stop and hold them back since I answer the phone nonstop at work. I was in the middle of fighting them back when I answered the phone and got a call from someone who's nickname (what we use as verification) was "Eaglebeak." I told myself, see, get it together, God is here, he will take care of it all. They started to dry up but then another episode hit a minute later, holding them back I took a call from someone who's nickname was "Eagle." Again, like a ton of bricks I smirked and told myself that I needed to get it together. It was like God was plainly telling me that I needed patience, I felt his presence and it made me calm. I felt like getting down on my knees and crying out to him how I felt, but I knew he already did. At that moment He felt my pain, He knew my desires.

I can't say that my day has been better nor has it been worse or that the hurt is gone because I am still sad and angry. But I am glad that after tonight I will be off for 4 days, let's hope these 4 days are without illness and filled with joy as I spend time with my girls. I am also volunteering at Ava's school Friday which I am excited about, it will be the first time for me as a parent "volunteer!" I will actually feel like a mommy.

Here are pictures from this weekend;

My brother Will's football team, The Randolph County Tigers!!

Past Crafts

Here are a few things that I have made for my girls in the past and still use;

Ava's Reward Chart
I used soft felt and cut out shapes to stick up on the big piece of thicker felt board. When she does all of her tasks and behavior for the day she gets to put one of her shapes on the board. When she gets 7 shapes on the board, she gets $4 since she is 4 years old. And she uses her money to save up for things she wants to have. It has been very effective but she does have many days when there is no reward given :( ~but it keeps her trying harder for the next day. Thought I would share with you.

 This is a hairbow holder I made for Ava using oval wood and a wooden A that I painted and put a crown on the top with a ribbon hanging down! I made one with a Z on it for Zoe!

OWL PUMPKIN!!

This is a picture of our pumpkin Rob carved!  We got the owl template off of http://www.ourscissorcraft.com/

More pumpkins and fun fall crafts to come!!

The Eagle in Our Lives

The very first time the Eagle came to us was July 4th, 2010 right after the winners were announced for the Wedowee Boat Parade, which we had won 1st place in one of the categories. We had played the song "Free," by Zac Brown Band while going through the parade line. The Eagle soared around us and we released balloons for my brother. We tried to get a picture of him but it was far too high.

My parents have friend's whom my brother, Richard and I great up with. Over a year ago, one of her son's had a terrible motorcycle accident and was pronounced dead on the scene, EMT's were able to finally get a pulse and he ended up with serious brain injuries and in a coma for a while but was able to recover with the exception of some memory loss and other motor skills. Shortly after July 4th, his mom was talking to his dad about the parade and the Eagle. Then her son, Rudy, suddenly said, "I know what it means, I know exactly what that is,"it's Richard." He was just plain as day with it and so blunt about it. Completely assure of himself. I thought it very strange at the time, thinking Rudy had maybe seen a glimpse of heaven when he had his accident.

I didn't give it much more thought until recently when I started seeing Eagles on a daily basis. In September,  my husband Rob actually captured a picture of one we saw while taking pictures of the girls at Sewell National Park. That day there were two together and one circling over Rob and the girls and one circling my car as I was headed back to the car to get something. The next day there were two in our neighborhood circling behind our house. And after that, they have been everywhere, I have even seen a bald eagle that had swooped really low in front of my car. It is amazing how many I have seen. And it isn't just me, it is my husband and my mom. At the lake this weekend where my parents live, when we went outside to play with the girls, there was one soaring above that Zoe saw and kept pointing at. Then two swooped in front of my mom and I on the way to my little brother's football game. They are usually in two's but sometimes there is only one. I know it is migrating season but in talking with others they say they never see any Eagles, I see an average of 2-3 per day!
There is an eagles nest on the lake where my parents live that we often visit to see if we can get a glimpse of the eage. When she would have babies, they would be so neat to look at. And if  you were lucky you would see her come flying over them. They are such fascinating creatures.
The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to find out what the purpose or the symbolism for the Eagle. Today I googled the meaning of eagle and found some of these answers...

I found this on www.eaglespiritministry.com
The eagle is present across a range of beliefs or philosophies;
A few of the things an eagle represents are...
* spiritual protection
* carries prayers
* brings strength, courage, wisdom, healing, and creation

The dictionary of scripture and myth, describes the eagle as;

A symbol of the holy spirit, which flies, as it were, through the mind (air) from the higher nature (heaven) to the lower nature (earth) and soars aloft to the self (sun).

This came from Daily Encouragement

http://dailyencouragement.wordpress.com/2008/01/21/soaring-like-eagles/

“Soaring Like Eagles”

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
Several weeks ago I shared in an encouragement message that I saw an eagle fly high over our home and I’ve seen it several times since.  Yesterday Brooksyne and Ester spotted one on the way home from church and we kept an eye on it as it soared high above us with wings spread appearing to enjoy the bitterly cold weather.  It seems I never have the camera ready when we spot the eagles – it would probably be too far away for an effective shot anyway.
The daily Scripture text is among the first verses I committed to memory as a young Christian. It was a popular chorus at that time and really still should be, since it’s merely singing the very words of Scripture.  It has so often been a source of assurance and strength in my life.
Isaiah 40 is recognized by many to be among the most powerful chapters of Scripture and even many secularists acknowledge the superb literary beauty of this passage.
The daily text is the final verse in this great chapter. What an encouraging promise! Read it slowly and aloud if you are able. “Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.”  Isaiah, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote these words some 2,700 years ago. But the Word of God is living and active and this is a present unchangeable truth.
It presents an essential key to personal renewal – hoping in the Lord. We may look back and recall when we accepted the Lord, first placing our hope and trust in Him. That’s wonderful. But this verse refers to an active, present tense hope and trust in the Lord.
The Full Life Study Bible has this note concerning the passage: “To hope in the Lord is to trust Him fully with our lives; it involves looking to Him as our source of help and grace in time of need.  Those who hope in the Lord are promised:
1) God’s strength to revive them in the midst of exhaustion and weakness, of suffering and trial;
2) The ability to rise above their difficulties like an eagle that soars in the sky; and
3) The ability to run spiritually without tiring and to walk steadily forward without fainting at God’s delays.  God promises that if His people will patiently trust Him, He will provide whatever is needed to sustain them constantly.”
The image of a soaring eagle is used. “They will soar on wings like eagles.”  Many have observed the ability of the eagle to soar above the storms and likewise through our hope we can soar above the storms of life.
By God’s grace may you hope in the Lord, may your strength be renewed and may you spiritually soar above the inevitable storms of life!
Be encouraged today.
The Bible refers to an eagle as far back as Exodus and all the way into the Prophecy.

For some reason, I just have to feel like my brother is on constant watch over us and giving us the strength and courage to face this difficult storm in our lives. To help us heal and give us hope that he is waiting for us on the other side. I kind of hope he is carrying our prayers right to God on his wings, knowing how much his family and friends meant to him, I am sure he is making sure we will be taken care of. I think this is God's way of showing us that he is always near, especially to the broken hearted.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted
       and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 29:11 The Lord will give strength unto his people,
       the Lord will bless his people with peace.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present
       help in times of trouble.

Here is the picture of the Eagle we saw at Sewell Park.

HOO Are You???

1. How many times a year do you get your hair cut?

About 5 times

2. Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?

Anywhere with a screaming child

3. What are your favorite pizza toppings?

pepperoni and pineapple

4. What's your favorite thing about where you live?

The peace and quiet

5. What's your favorite fruit? Veggie?

Fruit~mandarin orange Veggie~green beans

Our God is Greater (This is for My Ava) Pause playlist at bottom to listen to song

"These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will sure come to pass. just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!"

Habakkuk 2:3

When my husband went into my oldest daughter, Ava, who will be 5 in January, and heard her belting out to this song! And we will all sing it together getting ready for church on Sunday. But I wanted to post the video here because it is such an uplifting song!


And
With Love,

True Blessings in Life (More Photos from Shoot with Daddy)

Here are a few more recent pics Rob photographed of the girls. Watching them play and seeing how their personalities are shaped and growing always makes me stand in awe of God's power. 

For Jeremiah 1:5 says;

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."







How Great is Our God; A Back Porch View

Rob took this photo tonight on our back porch and I could not help but stare at it and think how glorious our Father is. If this is what we see now, I can't imagine what we will be seeing when we finally get home to him!

Thank you honey for taking this beautiful picture!

From my Dad

I got an email this morning from my dad that was so inspiring to me. Here it is below, very short, sweet, powerful, and true.


I was reading this morning from a news letter from Bryant Wright. It was about a man who saw an old friend . The man asked how her daughter Millie was and the woman explained her 23 year old daughter had died. The man stated he would never be able to handle the death of his child. The woman stated I've discovered that sometimes God does not give us the strength we need until we need it. But when you need it, it's always there. God doesn't give us enough strength for tomorrow, today. He gives us enough strength for today, each day.
With Love,

Waiting patiently

Patience is not a trait that comes easily for me, if at all! I try to do it but I am so impatient that I want answers now, I want to be able to control everything!! Arrgghh. So when I read the verse on my blog today Psalm 27:14 'Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.', it got me thinking about how much I need to work on my patience. I try and try to wait patiently on the Lord but sometimes I get a little frustrated. And I know I can say that because he already knows! Sometimes life drags you down so much that it feels hard to get back up and continue to have that endurance in playing the waiting game. I have found this to be one of the hardest parts of life; living by faith in order for him to reveal his plans for you. And I know his plans will be revealed but I find myself saying, "anyday now would be great!" With my husband out of a job since April, the first holidays without my brother, the strains from working 12 hr shifts and the guilt from being a stay at home mom to now working full time can get someone very aggrevated and impatient. Though I will continue to sit and wait because I know we all have our struggles and trials, as my mom has always said, "you never know what goes on behind closed doors."  Everything is not always peachy for everyone else. I am not alone, there are millions of others who suffer far greater trials than I do. My mom and I were talking on my way to work this morning and she was telling me to continue to be patient and we talked about Job and Abraham who were told to sacrifice more than we could imagine having to do.
Solomon speaks to us in Ecclesiastes right to the heart of our human nature. He journeyed to find the meaning of life. And we still seem to be on that same journey yet the richest man to have ever lived has already told us everything we need to know.
 Here are some of my favorites from Ecclesiastes:


 Ecclesiastes 2:10-11  I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
       I refused my heart no pleasure.
       My heart took delight in all my work,
       and this was the reward for all my labor.
 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
       and what I had toiled to achieve,
       everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
       nothing was gained under the sun.


I LOVE this one....Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A Time for Everything

 There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:
 a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:15-17
Whatever is has already been,
       and what will be has been before;
       and God will call the past to account. ^[a]
And I saw something else under the sun:
       In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
       in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
I thought in my heart,
       "God will bring to judgment
       both the righteous and the wicked,
       for there will be a time for every activity,
       a time for every deed."


Ecclesiastes 4:2  And I declared that the dead,
       who had already died,
       are happier than the living,
       who are still alive.


Ecclesiastes 6:12  For who knows what is good for a man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow? Who can tell him what will happen under the sun after he is gone?


Ecclesiastes 11:8  However many years a man may live,
       let him enjoy them all.
       But let him remember the days of darkness,
       for they will be many.
       Everything to come is meaningless.


AND FINALLY....I know there were A LOT!
Ecclesiastes 12: 9-14
The Conclusion of the Matter
 Not only was the Teacher wise, but also he imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.
 The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd.  Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.
      Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
 Now all has been heard;
       here is the conclusion of the matter:
       Fear God and keep his commandments,
       for this is the whole duty of man.
 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
       including every hidden thing,
       whether it is good or evil.


Much of what Solomon writes about brings me great comfort, especially in the midst of grieving the loss of my brother. And much of it speaks to me about waiting patiently for God because only he knows what we need, and anything without him is meaningless, so I must wait because I don't want to spend my time being meaningless, (I have got far too many things to do)!
We can only do what God has planned for us. On my Instant Messenger at work I have the quote, "Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser!" How true is that?
With Love Always,

Adventure in Sewing

So, as promised I did finish the lovey, after throwing away 2 of them (ha ha)! This is the first project I have ever sewn so it was a lot of work getting used to the sewing machine. Any who, it doesn't look like the Authentic Nests but it is finished and I am proud. I hope Zoe starts to like it because so far she is still hanging on to hers. She is pretty picky so it might take a minute for her to get used to something new or Ava (my oldest) will just take it for her baby! My husband was very proud of me and I think very surprised b/c it took me so long to do. In the end, here is the final result.......drum roll.......

Thank you Authentic Nest for your wonderful tutorial and fabulous Blog!!


Next sewing project is a skirt for the Little Ms.Ava!!

Song from Mother to Son

I have this song in the "Stuff I Like" section but I wanted to post it here because it is such a fabulous song.
I had put the song in the link section but I guess you couldn't view it on my blog so here it is!
http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#Toby+Lightman:Better:463007:s70311438.16057229.44142238.0.2.185%2Cstd_90781e194c7c405886dc5c27286afda5


Hope you Enjoy!

Sewing: Luxe Lovey Tutorial

Sewing: Luxe Lovey Tutorial
(click on the heading above to see the whole tutorial)


I am making this blanket this weekend! I have been working on it for a few weeks now, and haven't gotten very far (with kids, work, and everything else going on) but I am determined this weekend to make it, it is so cute but I will be using plain pink minky so it won't be as decorative but I already had the fabric before I saw this one. Hopefully I will get some pictures up as soon as it is done. Wish me luck, it is my first sewing project! I am so excited about this because Zoe loves satin and when she is tired she rubs her little bear blankie that has satin edging. I can't wait to give her my first blanket! (as long as it turns out) ha ha


Here is a picture of the finished product from Aesthetic Nest!

Are you Strong Enough?

Psalm 29:11 The Lord will give strength unto his people, the Lord will bless his people with peace.


I feel as I am getting closer and closer to the eye of the storm, fighting 100 mph winds that push me further and further inward. The continuation of letdown after letdown often have me in a state of feeling weak and vulnerable. I want to see the light through the darkness. I want to know that everything will be ok and that I will one day make it out of this storm.
Do you have enought strength when times are tough and hard to handle? Do we just give up and tell ourselves that we can't do it? If you try to do it alone, you will never have the strength. We must depend on God in all times, good and bad. Depending on him requires us to surrender. Surrendering is not human nature. We all have the "I can do it myself" attitude. Well guess what, you can't. Unless you surrender your whole self and ask God to help you with your problems you will always fail. We need him every hour of every day. Heck, I need him second by second. To practice surrender we must have perseverance and it has to be lifelong according to Rick Warren.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Remind yourselves constantly that we need him and ask him for help. All I say is Lord please help me, I need you.
We have to surrender to God's grace, love, and wisdom.
This is one of my favorite verses that has helped me through many storms. Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble. I read that at my brother's funeral. It has helped me in so many ways. I have to remember it is him who we are here to please. We are to be in this world but not of it. I could go on and one quoting scripture that talks about surrendering and strength. But I will leave you with a few to inspire you today!


Psalm 147:3 He heals up the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
Jeremiah 31:31 I will turn their mourning into gladness. I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
One of my favorites Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to  harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


A faith that hasn't been tested, can't be trusted. Adrian Rogers
Your greatest ministry will likely come out of your greatest hurt. Rick Warren
Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has. Billy Graham


Like I said, I could go on and on but I will leave with this last thought. Have you truly surrenderd all of your fears, hurts, and struggles over to God? I know I need to be reminded constantly, if I don't, I will crumble and fall into pieces.
With Love
Heather

Poem for Richard

Today I lost my brother,

It’s sad but very true.

This heartache that I now bear

The pain, the grief, and disbelief.

I know that you are sorry

And no, there is nothing that you can do

But hold my hand

And say a prayer

For only God can heal our wounds.

Each day I awake and realize

There is nothing new.

He still will not be with us

And the pain becomes brand new.

I will never see his child be born

Nor will mine remember him

His smile and laugh

The devilish grin

He bared when he walked in.

Never can he be hugged or kissed

No pats from a friend he’s missed.

No presents at Christmas,

No birthday cake

Will ever say his name.

A headstone, bench, and picture

Is where we will see him now

His final resting place

Here on the ground.

No, this burden I cannot change,

My little brother is gone today.

Reflections

I was doing my devotion this morning and found the verse of Philippians 4:6-7 to be quite relevant to my meltdown on Friday night. What started out as a normal day of going to work, my second of four 12 hour shifts, ended up being a nightmare. Work was a battle of uncertainty, rumor, confusion, busyness, and frustration. At lunch I was so angry and didn't understand why until later. I was expecting something that was probably not going to happen and that made me mad. The rest of the evening was problematic and endless call volume. I started feeling the anxiety grow stronger and stronger as the night went on. I was so frustrated that I was wanting to leave. I knew I needed my job so I had to endure it. I kept looking at some scripture and memory verses I have on my desk to try to get me through. I prayed for God's help.
Finally I was out the door and in my car driving home when it hit me full speed ahead. I tried to hold back the tears, the ache in my stomach that feels like your insides are going to go through your back, and the shaking and anxiety that was over coming me. I couldn't do it. I ended up bawling crying in a fit of fury, panic, and completely overwhelmed. I got home and could not even speak to my husband because if I did it would make it worse. I just wanted to calm down, go to sleep and make it go away. That didn't happen, of course, my husband wanted to know what was wrong since I was in utter panic and distress. We went outside as I tried to explain it all because I was so angry I knew my voice would carry through the house and wake the girls. I went and got my makeup off, took my medicine, got into bed, and said tomorrow is a new day. My sweet husband gave me a massage that drifted me off to sleep.
Today as I was doing my devotion I read," Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God who transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
Wow, that stuck out like a sore thumb this morning. How had I allowed myself to get so overwhelmed and anxious? I made a list of some of the things that cause me anxiety; disappointments, changes that effect me negatively, my plan for the day, struggles, worry over my job, Rob finding a job, finances, the hurt and pain in my life, the future events to take place like the holidays and the trial, forgiveness and letting go of resentments.
I started to think about Friday and compared it to my list. Of course, I found several similarities. I had gotten paid Friday so that led me thinking about bills, I got disappointed at work, the day did not go as I had planned with all the problems that arose there, worry of the position I am in at work, resentful of those I thought were better off than me, and the trickling down effect that results from these things. They may seem simple to most, we all get disappointed, struggle at our job, worry about bills, etc. But for me, a lot of small things can lead up to many large things. And that night the grief that I tried to bury arose from within and became the focal point of my fear for the months ahead, the trial, the pain never going away, the loss I never thought could occur, sadness, anger, envy and rage.
As I looked back I realized my expectations were not met and I could see that my disappointment in something I thought I deserved caused my whole day to become erratic.
This verse spoke directly to me, it was like Paul was saying, "Heather,stop setting up goals that may be unreachable and realize that we do not "deserve" anything." God allows us to have and has the plan to prosper us. I just needed to wait patiently for the thing I wanted so bad, continue  to pray, surrender it to God, and show him praise and thanks for what I am given. He has given me the ultimate gift, the gift of eternal life.
Now, I did pray throughout this event and asked for his help. But I was still led to a meltdown, maybe one God knew I had needed. I had to realize that my plans are not always his plans and I must surrender everyday in order to have peace and become like Christ. Without him, the event would have probably spiralled out of control sooner, while at work, it would end up trickling down through the next several days and possibly cause me to go into a deep depressive state. I would not have been able to look back and see the error of my ways to try and prevent it in the future. Will it prevent another one? Who knows, if you know me, then we can agree it probably will? But I can try and continue to pray, and maybe one day my stubborn brain will get it.
I had read a verse every time I got to work but had  never reflected on it until now. It is 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Really, how did I not get it when I have read it many times before. I just never took the time to reflect upon it and find the solutions to further understand why Jesus wants us to cast all of our cares upon him. This is how we grow, by his word, all of our answers lay in the Bible, it is the tool God gave us until his return.
The Purpose Drive Life by Rick Warren (I have put the link to his website) tells us what we need to do to fulfill our 5 purposes God gave for us. Then we can fully (well, maybe the beginning) to understand why we are here and the purpose we are supposed to fulfill. I failed on Friday, but we all fail, each and everyday, that is why we needed Jesus Christ our Savior!

God and The Vacuum

I often go into a deep thought while winding up the cord to the vacuum cleaner. It's like everything gets shut out and my mind drifts into thoughts of different things. I know very strange, I get it, but it's actually the truth. So, yesterday while winding the cord up and down I thought about life and how it was like the vacuum. The cord that wraps around two little hooks usually goes up and back down again, just like the events that take place in our lives; the good, happy times going up and the bad times going down. I then thought about how the vacuum cleans up stuff on the floor that we do not even see until we empty the bag or these days, the container out. We then see all of the bad stuff that was there on the floor. God works like the vacuum in helping us through our bad times, hurts, trials, helplessness; the messes in our lives. Jesus Christ sucks up all of the messes Much like Faith, believing in something that is unseen. Faith is "the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It's the evidence of things we cannot see." We didn't see all the dirt on the floor, yet it was there and then it was gone. And when we lay the vacuum on the floor horizontally we see that the cord is level or even not up or down like when it was standing up. With Jesus Christ in our lives, we are like the even cord, we can handle the ups and downs and he will always lay them straight for us.


Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God in Jesus Christ our Lord.

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