Immersed

Immersed...

immersed in something;

if you are immersed in something, you spend most of your time doing it or thinking about it

At the end of October the motion hearing for my brother’s trial took place. Ever since my days have been filled with the forethought of what I knew was to come. I was ready this time; it has been almost 2 years. I was growing weary, restless, and anxious. With the daily busyness of working, being a mom, and the holidays I have had no desire to update my blog. Most days I felt like I really didn’t have anything to say. Most things annoyed me and life in general was unstable. We’re going to court next week, no we’re going the next week, we’re going to court tomorrow, no we’re going to court…..awaiting what I didn’t want to face yet wanted so bad seemed like pouring salt on a wound. The wound continued to spread as I yearned for closure.

So I sit here tonight typing and thinking about closure, truth, and consequence. All I wanted was for this to end and for 2012 to begin with a clean slate, without the worry of court dates and an “estimated” trial date. Finally, Friday, December 16^th my family received the closure yearned for since that dreadful January night. Just as the wound yearns to close, it can only do so layer by layer. As the truth comes out little by little it is just like the pain of the healing wound. For the hardest thing about searching for the truth…Is that sometimes we find it. And when we do it doesn’t always paint a pretty picture. But truth is about freedom. It brings with it joy and peace, though at first it may hurt for a little while.

The man who murdered my brother was sentenced Friday to mandatory life in prison for Felony Murder, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony. He will not be eligible for parole for 30 years. The consequence of one man’s actions resulted in immense pain. Not only for my family but for what he has caused for his. He is married and has 2 daughters. My brother will never have the chance for a family. And a man who was given one gave it all away.

Every lie holds consequence. In truth we can find closure.

The closure to this part of my family’s story is one of hope, peace, justice, and the significance of knowing that “God is good, all the time, He is good.” Two years I have prayed, my family has prayed, friends prayed and this past week prayers were lifted to our Father from so many. The support that was given to my family, the prayers spoken by each person will touch my heart forever. Because no matter what, God is BIGGER!

Repeatedly this week I sought the words, “The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God will not protect you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

I came across this poem and find great comfort in its words.

Will of God

The will of God will never take you,

Where the grace of God cannot keep you,

Where the arms of God cannot support you,

Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,

Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,

Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,

Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,

Where the army of God cannot protect you,

Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,

Where the love of God cannot enfold you,

Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,

Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,

Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,

Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,

Where the Word of God cannot feed you,

Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,

Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

"Everything happens for a purpose.

We may not see the wisdom of it all now

but trust and believe in the Lord

that everything is for the best."

Humanity or Habit

Are we as a society or a follower of Christ too self-indulged with our own daily agenda and to do's that we are blind to those around us? We find it polite to pass a co-worker in the hall, a cashier, a stranger in passing, or a courteous door holder to briefly say "hey, how are you?" But do we ever really mean it when we say it, do you ever hear the answer, or put a face to them? Has this type of "politeness" become merely habit and not a sincere gesture. Do you notice the expression on their face, can you tell if they look like they may be upset about something, extremelly excited about a recent event, or just told you they were on their way to hurt themselves or someone else? Are you too busy with the thoughts of all you have to get done, where you are going, or what has made you upset, sad, or angry?

Is a "hey, how are you?" a real act of humanity, a true sense of connection to another, the love for others as a child of God?
These type of "habits" can happen in your prayer life as well. We can find ourselves merely repeating the same words over and over each day, night. Although some repetitive prayer is positive. When they become words without meaning, desire, praise, surrender, faith, guidance seeking; the truth that lies deep within our heart, then we are treating God the same as a passing stranger. Does our relationship with God reflect every part of our lives?
Matthew 6:7-8 ESV    
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
For God did not send his Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross only for you. He took up the Cross for us all, all of humanity.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
He loves us all, each and every one. Shouldn't we treat others with the same love God pours out for us?
When you get to Heaven, will you recognize the faces of those you uttered a quick "hey, how are you?"
Are our worst habits really the temporary things of this world we put value on or are our worst habits against each other, even those we are being "polite" to?

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Financial Peace

Prayer When in Financial Trouble

But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory.—Philippians 4:19
God, help me to straighten out my financial
problems. Release Your Godly wisdom so that
I may be a good steward over all that
You have given me. If my problems seem beyond repair,
help me find a way, Your way, to meet my obligations.
I place this need before You, knowing that You
will guide me to a good solution.
Please grant me the patience and tolerance
necessary to calm my spirit and help me to
remember that You have everything
under Your control and I have nothing to fear or worry.
Amen.

I found this great prayer on Our Prayer. What a great one for the current financial state of most Americans. My husband and I have just started the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Univ. that our church is offering. WOW, it certainly has been a wakeup call. But I have also found it overwhelming. I am a Type A personality and like for everything to be in order. Well I have found out our finances are NOT in order. Cuts in the budget need to be made, difficult choices, and a “new” perspective on what financial “peace” looks like.
My prayer is for encouragement and determination to get it done. I tend to give up when frustration sets in. We are already juggling horrible work hours, marriage mentoring, cheerleading, school, an almost 3 year old, and lack of sleep. These don’t exactly add up to a place where “peaceful serenity!” I hope to have that one day; I hate drama and just want to live a quiet, non busy or hectic life. I want to be able to focus on the non-profit and enjoy what I’m doing in life.  Right now I have to take it so slow doing anything with it because there is just not enough time. But I see such a need each and every day on the news, it really breaks my heart.
I’ve been pretty depressed the past couple of weeks which always makes my grief worse. It’s actually getting harder to bear the more time that passes. The “saying” is that with time it will get better. But the thought of more time passing seems unbearable to me. I will admit during these times I grow distant from God and have begun to keep everything in. Mainly because I don’t talk to anybody lately, there is just not enough time. I’ve lost connection with family and friends. Once you’ve gone so long without talking it feels like you need more time to catch up which doesn’t seem to be happening. I don’t even have time to talk one on one with my husband which is absolutely awful as we once talked about everything. I feel isolated from “my life” and trapped in one where all I hear is “complaining and negativity” at work. There are so many people who have SO many issues. It’s almost astonishing the way some people behave or talk to others. I guess it’s easier to be that way when you aren’t face to face. But I try to tell agents that it’s not personal. That personal has major problems we cannot solve. Just stick to the issue they have with us and then move on. Not to say that everyone is like that, there are many reasonable people. Those who are obnoxious just seem to out rule them and I often wonder how they make it through life.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Our marriage mentoring lessons have been focused on communication and conflict resolution. Maybe I should email them a lesson or two with tools they can use to become a more effective person in society! LOL

Beach...Summer Pics

Not Looking Forward to...

Going to work tonight. It's been pretty cruddy lately and I am praying for a new job to come soon. We have been very busy due to the storms. And right now I am lying on the couch so tired that I am trying to get up some motivation to get dressed. This scripture came to me yesterday and I wanted to share. It gives us such great promise! 2 Peter 3:8-13
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
  But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

Guess I should get moving and figure out what I will do with my day!!!

James and the Obstacle Course

Anyone with kids, grandkids, or even if you just know a kid have all seen those wonderful blow up bounce obstacle courses. They make most kids scream with excitement and utter anticipation (which can make some kids actually shake waiting for their turn.) Other more "timid" or I should say "smart" kids turn from the mere sight of them and run away tucked in between their parents legs. I found this description of the "Mega Obstacle Course" at Inflatable 2000.  We are proud to present the inflatable 58' Obstacle Course. . The race is on! This course includes items to jump through, a 6' wall to climb over and slide down, holes to jump though and barrels to climb through. Two participants head for the starting line. In front of them stands an inflatable barrier of vinyl. The race is around walls, ramps, through tubes, around inflated pillars and through giant rings. The two racers try desperately to maneuver their way through the course to see who can cross the finish line first. They include climb through wall, biff n bash poles, rope climb and slide. Two sides offer double the capacity, and large size will draw attention from every angle.
While this description may sound appealing to most adrenaline pumped kids, it far too much resembles the way I can feel about life. Always dodging the next wall or barrier, trying to figure out the best way to win today's "race," strategizing for the holes to jump through, barrels to climb, and slides to fall down. Bouncing from one pilar to the next in a whirlwind of dizzyness.
But unlike the obstacle course, life never allows us to know what is up ahead. We face today's challenges and then wait for tomorrow's.
There are many sermons on having "unshakeable faith." Knowing that whatever "obstacles" God brings to us we are always prepared knowing he is in control. I wish I had that peace, the peace a child has in knowing that the obstacle course does not waver each time they go through. Having faith that comes in trusting a mere inflatable full of air. When the one we should trust in has much more power than that inflatable. Having a faith that does not waver, can withstand all challenges or obstacles life deals us, and gives us peace to face each day.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Let perseverence finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
In James 1:12 Blessed be the man that perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. WOW what hope that brings!
Our obstacle course isn't about "winning" a competition or a race. Our obstacle course gives us the promise of eternal life. But we must have that "unshakeable faith," an unwavering, concrete foundation that is in the Word that our Lord Jesus Christ laid before us through his scarred hands.

Embarrassed, Humility, and Shame

I have been MIA and neglecting my blog lately. I have been busy with Real Life Stories and getting the introduction letter out. Those finally were sent and now I have a meeting Aug. 11th so pray people show up who want to volunteer. Here is the letter I sent...without the letterhead obviously.
July 22, 2011

Dear Friends and Family,

Losing a loved one is never easy. When the loss is sudden or tragic you are never prepared. And in the many difficult days ahead it is hard to know how to cope and where to turn.

Real Life Stories (RLS) is founded on the purpose to provide community outreach for the survivors of loved ones lost too soon. The goal is to establish a community where God’s Word provides hope, strength, comfort, peace, and support.

Real Life Stories will be focused in the South Atlanta area. There are very few resources available to those who are facing one of the hardest or the hardest struggle of their life. At a time when you feel hopeless you need someone who can walk beside you, lend an ear, and give you hope in the face of tragedy. The only answers we will find were written centuries ago and still hold true today. Providing each of us with the way to get through it, the courage to go on, and the place where you will find rest.

Care Packages, testimonials, meetings, remembrance cards, and support are a few services RLS wishes to provide. Those left to grieve need to know there is a place where they “fit” in, a place where their story matters.

Life is full of busyness but knowing that you have set aside the time to help someone who is hurting, showing them your passion and care will bring tremendous fulfillment and can bring you comfort in the things you are struggling with.

If you feel like this may be something you are interested in helping with, volunteering a small part of your time, or become fully committed to I invite you to meet with us August 11, 2011 6:30pm at Dogwood Church 975 Hwy 74S Tyrone, GA 30290. We need people like you to donate time, energy, and experience in a variety of areas. We plan to discuss ways to start our mission and see how many would like to be involved.

We are also in need of those who are able and willing to provide some sponsorship to support this ministry with startup costs. Those who can help will receive a Real Life Stories T-Shirt as our thank you.

The need for this is unfortunately far too big. It’s written on every front page newspaper and on our televisions every night. Together, we hope to make a difference in many lives and in many different ways.

To contact Real Life Stories with any questions you may have or for help with a donation please contact us by phone, email, or by mail.

Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,

Real Life Stories

Heather Grijalva

678-588-7594
heather@rlsministries.org

Thought you might like to check it out and give me any feedback/suggestions.
We also went on family vacation last week to Panama City, FL. The girls had so much fun. I will post some pics later.
I have embarrassed myself pretty bad. Its one of those "you can't take back" foot in the mouth things.
Wikipedia defines it as "Embarrassment is an emotional state experienced upon having a socially or professionally unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss of honour or dignity is involved, " Which pretty much sums up my embarrassing moment. A huge amount of dignity lost and the unacceptable act was witnessed or shall I say revealed by others.
I've not only embarrassed myself but my husband as well, which hurts the most. It could potentially make others believe that I may or "am" some crazy person who has lost their mind. But in the moment I felt as if I were losing it. Humiliated is more of what the outcome of this has been. I found this prayer on Forever Notebook
Prayer
“Father in Heaven. Help me to rise above my feelings, lay aside my personal plans, and do things Your way. Forgive me for my disobedience and help me to apply Your instruction to every aspect of my life. Help me to love as You love. Help me to forgive as You forgive. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen”
I just might need to pray this one for a while.
Full of humility, embarrassment and shame I will hope for forgiveness and seek God's direction for my faults.
My award for the day!

Anything is Possible....Real Life Stories

                                     
This week has been an overwhelming and exciting whirlwind in an endeavor I have wanted to embark on for a long time.
Starting two weeks ago I emailed our Pastor and inquired about an idea I had that I felt the Holy Spirit was laying very heavily on my heart. I have been searching and asking for guidance and direction in my life as I felt there was more He wanted for me.
That is where "Real Life Stories" began. I will try to keep the story as short as possible but I am usually a person of many words (especially when I am writing.) My manager says she leaves my emails for last because they are always so detailed.
I put my ideas in a powerpoint, waited a couple of weeks in apprehension, finally emailed the Pastor and he wanted to meet right away. This was delayed a week due to him being at a conference. Last Tuesday we met, he loved the idea and was completely on board. We decided to continue to pray for the "next step" God wanted for it. Saturday morning I received a "mystery" package with all these wonderful things that had "Real Life Stories" on it. The pic is below, I have a sweet sweet friend who thought of me long before I met with the Pastor to get me motivated to go for it. I took it as my "next step" and emailed the Pastor. I now have a meeting next week with a woman who runs a non-profit for our church and is highly involved in all the non-profits in the area. She seemed excited. I have finaly started sharing this with many people as I was hesitant at first due to my insecurities. I have received a lot of reassurance that this is a much needed ministry. I put some of the slides below to show a little of what it is.
I'm trying to get a blog together for it so I don't have a link yet.
It is for those Who Lost Loved Ones too Soon; Sudden and Traumatic losses. Turns out there was a much higher need for this in our area than I had first realized. So many young lives taken and I live in an area that is on the Top 10 Best places to Live.

In short I pray God will continue providing me with the "next step" and this soon could turn into something more. My passion is intense for it and I hope that gives me enough drive to not give up.
This week I am literally "High on Life" and soooooo "Thankful."

Habakkuk 2:3 "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. It seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."

PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE I keep telling myself.

With Love,

Happy Weekend!

I found this quote on the Women of Faith blog yesterday and just had to share.
During the battle the Lord isn’t watching us, cheering us on; He’s the One fighting. That’s enough hope to face any tomorrow. ―Karen Kingsbury

With Love,

Letting Go

Last night I heard a radio show host say he once heard, "life is a bunch of seasons filled with letting go."
"Letting go" if googled has a lot of meanings. Letting go of a broken relationship, letting go of a loved one, letting go of a job, letting go of your financial situation, letting go of love, and more and more things to let go.
I thought about the different situations that "letting go" may involve; like letting go of the cord to bunjee jump, letting go to deep sea dive, letting go into a cage to swim with the sharks.
I realized that all of these meanings or situations involved giving up of self. Trusting someone or something that could put you in a state of uncontrollable feelings. Whether pain, anger, resentment, fear, sorrow, or suffering.
But the true and most important part of life is giving up of self, selfish desires, and worldy ways in surrender to the Lord. Ultimate sacrifice and "letting go." Once we can fully trust in God and his plans the other "letting go"  stuff will not seem so hard because you have the most powerful tool at your side. So start "letting go," not for the secular world but for the non-secular reward given by God.
Release yourself and you will find that you are falling into his arms.

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 I SHOULD SAY "POSSIBLY" LEADING ME!!!

 

 

Even if it is a Monday...

 
Head over to For the Love of Blogs and link up!
Welcome back friends. This weeks edition of Monday Moo's is going to be a couple questions about Summer Time!

Do you take more breaks from blogging because I notice a huge difference in these months as far as commenting goes, posts, stats, etc. What keeps you busy throughout the summer besides the obvious {warm weather}?

To answer:

• I don't "intentionally" take breaks from blogging but I need a sufficient amount of time to do it because I am such a freak that I revise, edit, and checking everything over and over before I actually post it. (I think that may be OCD)!
• I've been a slacker!-no, actually pretty busy with both girls at home, not that we really go ANYWHERE because I am too tired during the day to even endure the thought of getting them ready to go somewhere. I have been working on something very dear to my heart. I don't want to say much more right now but I am meeting with my Pastor tomorrow morning so all I can ask is for your prayers that it is God's will for my life because I am extremelly passionate about!

Which is why my verse for the day is....
2 Corinthians 1:4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.


Since I haven't done any blog hops recently I am going to join in this morning!

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Every Monday I'll add three questions, the first one will always be the same.
1. What did you do this week to take time for yourself? Nothing last week as I was under the weather however, this week my girls are going to stay at Grandma's!!! So I'm hoping for some time to myself this week.
2. What is your favorite outdoors activity? I have horrible allergies so not a big FAN of the outdoors unless I am in a swimming pool
3. What is your favorite breakfast? Publix bakery Cinnamon Rolls Hands Down!