God can Heal a Broken Heart but He has to have all the Pieces.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

May 31, 2011

The What If's

We can't help but sometimes drift into the "what if's" in life.
What if the very thing you want to do seems impossible?
What if the things you try to protect your children from become the things that consume them?
What if everything you worked for was lost instantly?
What if you had decided to choose a different career path in college?
What if you had just a little more money?
What if you just found out I have a terminal disease?
What if a friend betrays you?
What if your friend is going through a difficult time and you want to be there but just can't?

There are thousands of "what if's" we find drifting into our minds as if the life we have could have been something else? We often question "why did this happen to me?"

I've been struggling with what I want for my life, asking God to give me direction as to what I should be doing, where can I make the biggest impact, etc. I spent last week sick with my stomach again. I need to have a procedure called ERCP as they believe I have a  Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction. ERCP is a high risk procedure that can cause chronic pancreatitis, especially among younger women. But the time has come to bite the bullet and get this cured because it is very dabilitating and put me out of work for a week and in the hospital. It happens mostly when I get stressed and tired. And with the 4 hours of sleep a night it's no wonder it came on so quickly. While out of work, my work did something that was quite unfair to me (punishment I imagine) which set me off into a tissy of frustration for what I am doing with my life.

I have been wanting to do a small program that will hopefully lead into a non-profit organization in the south Atlanta area for those who have been affected by violent crime among those who were taken too soon. Violent crime has a pretty narrow definition but I want to include the victims of drunk driving and suicide. I've made the presentation I want to speak with our pastor about (hopefully to get some start up help) but sit here and doubt myself and contemplate actually calling him or constantly thinking it is something I want to do but can't.
We also had a small house fire on the outside corner of my house. Thankfully a neighbor was coming down the street and actually stopped to help. He thought it was a grill because all of our wood chips were flaming. But he was a savior and helped minimize the damage and put most of the fire out. As much as that was a "why me" moment, I had to see how lucky we were to have been blessed with his timing and reaching out.
Ava got nipped by the dog (complete accident) and has a stitch on her cheek. Rob had to take her to the doctor and thankfully he did because I would NOT have been able to handle it.
Summer has "OFFICIALLY" began and by 9am I thought I was not going to make it. Another reason my job is just not suitable for me anymore. But what do you do when you need the money to provide for your family yet are in an environment that is unhealthy and wearing me out. I know only God can answer that so I've been praying God, can you pass a little sign my way, actually a BIG sign because like I said, I am a self doubter. I see the glass half empty which I wish could be different but it's one of those things that "is what it is."

I didn't really want this post to be a downer but it appears it has gone south. I wish I had some exciting wonderful things to share but unfortunately reality are the events of last week.

With Love,

Field Day & the end of pre-k

My little baby AVA is officially a 2011-2012 Kindergartener!!!

Hubby's Prom Photshoot

The Hubs did a photoshoot for a friend's daughter and her friend. I think they turned out wonderful but they are such gorgeous girls!

May 17, 2011

Majorly Weak

Rob & I have been studying the Holy Spirit in our Marriage Mentoring book. I had been having a pretty bad couple of weeks. Zoe was taken out of daycare and I have been getting up with her at 7am when I only get about 4 hours of sleep a night, sometimes less. And some people may be able to run on 4 hours of sleep but NOT me, I require at least 9, seriously I could sleep for a full 24 hours. Even my child put on the Mother's Day card she made at school when asked to answers questions about me that "sleep" was my favorite thing to do. Oh an the best thing my mommy cooks for me, "Ramen Noodles." Mom of the Year award definetly not headed my direction! The point is that my lack of sleep has caused me to almost lose it. I forget stuff for my daughter's school, am always late for field trips, late for work, disorganized (which I absolutely HATE to be), feeling like I'm not pulling my weight with the household duties, stressed about finances (we had everything break at just about the same time i.e. we need a lawnmower (I live on 2 acres and have NO lawnmower,) our TV takes about 15 minutes to come on before you can see the picture or hear sound and when it does well let's just say Dora's water is green, our dryer stopped working, and we need new living room furniture pretty badly. I know these things are only monetary but it still gets overwhelming when you work all the time and don't have the extra money to do anything. I am an emotional wreck that I don't get to spend as much time as I want to with my girls (I try to catch up on some sleep on the weekends when my husband is home) which leads me to not seeing them in the small opportunity I can which is Saturday mornings. I work every weekend so family time just doesn't happen anymore :( I do spend most of the day with Zoe and she is the type of child you CANNOT leave unattended for more than a minute; it's hard to even go to the bathroom. I was putting my makeup on yesterday in my bathroom and Ava was in there with me when all of a sudden Ava came running in there screaming about a black sharpie. Oh yes, black sharpie everywhere (and this is the second occurrance). This morning she fed the dog a whole thing of the bakery cinnamon rolls. She is very destructive, much unlike Ava was.
Last Friday I was almost at a breaking point, I cried all day, missed my brother, and just had myself a little pity party. That's when I opened up the marriage book and came upon the verse from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. I had heard of verse 9 but never read verse 10. Verse 10 was exactly what I needed to hear right at that time.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

For when I am weak, THEN I am strong. The THEN part really made me think. It was like an enlightenment on what we see as weaknesses, let downs, dissapointments, unworthyness, and bitterness; he finds as strength.
That day I was not feeling strong at all. I felt worthless and that made me angry. Not to say reading this verse miraculously cured my feelings but it has given me a lot to think about and has helped me going into this week as I am facing a difficult challenge at work. Actually dealing with a difficult person and the difficulties with my schedule. I have been doing a lot of soul searching trying to find out where God wants me to be. I trust that I am exactly where he wants me to be for now and trust that he will put me where I need to be when I need it. I just wish that time would come sooner than later. Someone said to me the other day, "be careful what you wish for." Funny how you could actually think your prayers were used by God for bad. God's will is what it is and we will never be able to change it.
I did get to go get my hair done which of course makes me feel better, it was long overdue. Here is a pic of the new style.
For now I will consider my weakness as an opportunity to be strong.
With Love,

May 9, 2011

Scripture for Mommies

When you are concerned about your family’s future…
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the lord, plans for welfare [peace] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
When you need wisdom…
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5
When you are worried…
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
When you need assurance…
Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:24
When you can’t make ends meet…
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
When you’ve had a rough day…
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
When you face difficult problems…
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
When you want your husband to follow the Lord…
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 1 Peter 3:1-2
When there are family tensions…
Put on then… compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14
When God doesn’t seem real to you…
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD. Jeremiah 29:13-14
When you wonder if God loves you…
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
When you need forgiveness…
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
When no one seems to understand you…
O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. Psalms 139:1-2
When you feel like giving up…
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day


If I could give you diamonds
for each tear you cried for me.
if I could give you sapphires
for each truth you’ve helped me see.
If I could give you rubies
for the heartache that you’ve known
If I could give you pearls
for the wisdom that you’ve shown.
Then you’ll have a treasure, mother,
that would mount up to the skies
That would almost match
the sparkle in your kind and loving eyes.
But I have no pearls, no diamonds,
As I’m sure you’re well aware
So I’ll give you gifts more precious
My devotion, love and care.

Found this great little poem for all the Grandmother's too!!!
While we honor all our mothers
with words of love and praise
While we tell about their goodness
And their kind and loving ways
We should also think of Grandma,
she's a mother too you see,
For she mothered my dear mother
as my mother mother's me!!
~Author Unknown
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; 
They don’t have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up...
Real Mothers sometimes ask  'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'
Real Mothers know that a child’s growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to
Mom to Mother.....
The Images of Mother 
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF  AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything!
14  YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn't have a clue. 
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. 
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, 
Because that is the doorway to her heart, 
The place where love resides. 
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, 
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul 
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!  

Wishing you all a Happy Mother's Day!!!!
With Love,

May 7, 2011

Happy Mothers Day from your son

For all the things I didn't say,
About how I felt along the way--
For the love you gave and the work you've done,
Here's appreciation from your admiring son.
You cared for me as a little tot,
When all I did was cry a lot,
And as I grew your work did too--
I ran and fell and got black and blue.
I grew some more and it didn't stop;
Now you had to become a cop,
To worry about mistakes I'd make;
You kept me in line for my own sake.
I got older, and the story repeated;
You were always there whenever I needed.
You guided me and wished me the best,
I became wiser and knew I was blessed.
So, for all the times I didn't say,
The love I felt for you each day,
Mom, read this so you can always see
Just how much you mean to me.
Mom, Thanks for everything!
By Karl Fuchs
Love Richard